Charlotte Church

To the uninitiated, Charlotte Church might seem like an odd choice to present a new entertainment show in Channel 4's coveted Friday night slot. She's famous for her singing, but that hardly qualifies her for her own show, and besides which, she's only 20. What does she know about chatting to celebrities or filming comic sketches?

A few minutes in her company and the doubts are immediately dispelled. She is articulate, engaging, funny, intelligent, and astonishingly mature for a girl barely out of her teens. She can also talk. And talk. And then talk some more. For someone who's made a living out of using her voice, she doesn't exactly rest it much. But then she's young, rich and famous, has a celebrity boyfriend (rugby star Gavin Henson), and a new series about to start on TV – what's not to be enthusiastic about?

So, you're new show is starting this month. Should Jonathan Ross be worried?
I don't know. Jonathan Ross has got his own thing going. He's a very funny man, I don't really count myself as any kind of comedienne. I hope, ratings-wise, that he might be a bit worried, but I've met him, he's a lovely man, and my show will be very different from his. I could never do what he does. He flirts with women and makes sexual innuendos. Although I suppose the men would quite like that, if I flirted with the women and made sexual innuendos! But no, it's not gonna happen. His is obviously a proper chat show, people go on there to talk about themselves and whatever they're selling. My show will have a little bit of that – I don't want it to be absolutely barmy, where you don't really get to hear what whoever I've got on has to say – but I don't want it to be all serious, like [puts on posh voice] 'When did you know you were going to be an actress'. A little bit of celebrity interviews, but just the exciting stuff that you all want to know, hopefully, rather than what it was like working with a director on such and such a film, which no-one is that interested in. So just the juicy bits, hopefully. Not in a nasty way, because I don't think of myself as a nasty person. I'm not going to be prying – I know what it's like myself, being on shows like that when somebody asks you a really awkward question.

So what will you do apart from chat to your guests?
We'll involve them in sketches. Sally Lindsay [formerly of Corrie] came on the pilot show, and we filmed a live sketch, Heartbreak Hospital, which was basically taking the piss out of all these really dramatic Spanish and Brazilian soaps – one of which I actually did the theme tune for in Brazil, which was quite odd, with some old tenor. I can't remember what his name was, but I went on a show called Planet Xena and sang it, which was one hell of an experience. So Sally Lindsay came on and did a cameo role, it was really funny, and tied in well with the whole show. We get them to do loads of different things – we had Trisha Goddard on the pilot show as well. We showed her a load of her shows without the strapline describing what the show was about, and she had to guess the strapline. She said most of the time she could date it by her hairstyle. When she couldn't see herself in the clip, she was really lost, because she couldn't see the hairdo.

Which aspects of the show do you enjoy the most?
I love doing the sketches. I love the comedy aspect of it all. The writers created a Dame Charlotte character for me who is just brilliant. As soon as I read the script I just loved it. And all of the hidden camera stuff is really fun. Last week, in Cardiff, I did a thing called 'P.A. Jesu' [geddit] where I fired my PA, Holly, and got in people to interview for the job. I made them do ridiculous things and asked them absurd questions like 'Would you be prepared to get arrested for me?' And some of them said 'Absolutely not,' others said 'Well, yeah.' Do then I'd say 'What if it was a year's sentence? You'd be paid well.' And they started bartering, saying 'Yeah, maybe nine months.' It was really interesting and really funny. I asked them what they considered beyond the call of duty, and one woman said 'I wouldn't like it if you set me up with a man. I've had a boyfriend for two years'. And I said 'That could be quite tricky. We have a lot of drinking games, dares, show your boobs and stuff,' she was horrified, and said 'No, no, I'm not doing any of that.' I said 'One boob?' She thought about it, but still said no. I also told them I liked to bounce my ideas off my PA, and said that since Lily Allen and Madonna had done little raps in their songs, I'd written one. So it was a really dodgy rap, really s***, and one girl, the first girl, said 'Yeah, it's really good'. Then the last girl just laughed at me and said 'Are you serious?' Obviously we revealed to them at the end that it was a hidden camera show, and they all wanted to kill me.

And didn't you enter into a tribute act competition as a Charlotte Church impersonator?
Yes, I entered as ‘Starlett Church’, an impersonator from Bolton. I was up against people doing Tina Turner, Robbie Williams and Britney Spears. It was in front of three judges, and we told them the TV crew was filming a documentary on tribute acts. That was all very interesting. It was the first time I'd ever done anything like that, so I was really nervous.

Did you win?
No, Tina Turner won. But I really was absolute bollocks. I had to sing really badly. It was quite difficult doing that, but what was worse was trying to trick the other contestants. The Britney Spears girl was really nervous, and I felt really bad for her. They were all telling me how much I looked like Charlotte Church, and I was like [puts on Bolton accent] 'I know, but I really can't sing like her. I am trying, but I just can't seem to do it.'

Is it nice to be doing something different?
I love singing, but with all the promotion for an album, it's a lot of the same stuff, the same questions being asked, the same song to perform over and over if you're promoting a single, but with this, it's something different every day. It's all really new and exciting to me. The only slightly similar thing I've done was Have I Got News For You? where I guested on one and presented on one. I was only 16, and I've never been so nervous in my life as I was for that. I thought I was going to die.

What guests will you have on?
I've absolutely no idea. I've got my wish list – I really want Lee Evans on, I love him. I've always loved stand-up comedy, and he's brilliant. Johnny Depp I'd like on the show for my aunty Caroline, she absolutely loves him. Lily Allen, I love her. I've not met her, but I love her song. I bought her album, which my dog chewed two days ago. I'd love to have big stars on it too, but whether they'd be as keen to join in with all the silliness I'm not sure. I met Tom Cruise when I was about 15 and I was doing the Jay Leno show out in LA. He was ridiculously nice, came and knocked on my door, said that his kids were fans of mine, so [laughs] hopefully my celebrity connections will pay off.

Will you be duetting with musicians who come on the show?
I'd like to think so. At the start, I sing the theme tune, which is called 'My Theme Tune'! It's quite funny, really silly lyrics. One of my ideas for it was to make it a bit different every week, by doing it in a different musical style, be it rock, or reggae, just to put a bit of variation into it. There will be some music at the end, whether it'll be a big shindig with whoever's on the show, and I sing, or maybe it'll be a band of the moment who are on to close the show. Something to end on a big high note.

Will Gavin be appearing?
No. I don't know what I'd do with him. I couldn't interview him; that would be way too weird. I know this is such a Hollywood thing to say, but me and him together, I kind of like that just to be ours. Everything else is public property, but I don't want us to be out there together, Richard and Judy style.

Does the press intrusion get you down?
Yeah. It's hard to have photographers outside my house all the time. How many times a week do they want to come to Tesco’s with me?' So it can get quite difficult but, on the up-side, the pay is good! But it can be annoying, when one minute I'm great and I'm fabulous and I'm thin. The next minute 'She's past it and she's fat'.

So will you be living in London during the series?
No chance. Every time I come to London, I come up in the morning, I go home at night, no matter how late. I just like my own bed. So today I left home at 6:30am, and once I've finished I'll go back home. I've even done that if I've been going on GMTV, I've got up at 4am and travelled up. I don't like being away from my fella, and I like my dogs and whatever. I'd rather do the journey.

What do you do on the journey then?
I read. I'm such a nerd. I read loads, I get through a couple of books a week. I listen to the radio a bit, or I sleep, which I did today. Slept and put my face on.

Do you ever see yourself leaving Cardiff?
No. Well, not South Wales. I could move around a bit, but I love Wales.

Is your Welsh identity quite important to you?
Most definitely. I'm quite patriotic. I just love being Welsh, as I'm sure you love being English. That's all I've ever known, and I'm really proud of the fact that I'm Welsh.

Cardiff's really benefited, tourism-wise, since Doctor Who came back, hasn't it?
Yeah, it's been a really big thing for Wales. Billie [Piper] when she was filming, lived in the flat above me. We were celebrity pals for a while. But really it was more just saying 'Hi' on the stairway, and 'We should go out'. 'I know'. And it never really happened. But she was so lovely, really nice. And a very good neighbour.

Do you have any more records coming out in the near future?
Music is my main thing, and always will be. But I'm not one of those people who's got a movie coming out, a new record, a shoe-line, a perfume range and all that. I can't do that. One thing at a time is about as much as I can work. I'll do this TV show, see how it goes, but I'll always come back to music.

What plans do you have for the rest of your career?
I don't, really. I'm not very driven. I don't know whether that's because that's not me as a person, or because I had it all so young. Gavin is really driven and ambitious and focussed. I really admire him for that, I'd love to be a bit more like that, but I think the fact that I'm so laid back and content with my life, he envies that as well. But that may change, I'm only 20. By the time I'm 25 I might be thinking 'What am I doing? I want to dominate the world'. I can't see it happening, but you never know.

Has being with Gavin increased your love of rugby?
I've always been a rugby fan. Being Welsh it's a rule, you have to know your rugby. But as soon as I met Gavin I got really into it. I love going to watch his games. It's such a brilliant atmosphere, and it's a much better sport than football. Gavin likes football as well, so I do watch a lot of football.

Who were you supporting in the World Cup?
[Laughs] Portugal. No, no, I really didn't care. But I think a lot of Wales was supporting Portugal. There was an audible roar. I find it quite bizarre. But you killed our king, Llewellyn, so that's where it all stems from! But Gavin watches a lot of football, he loves Manchester United. But I just can't get into it, whereas rugby I absolutely love. I'd watch rugby all day long. Which, in fact, I do.

Do you and Gavin have matching treadmills and exercise together?
No. Gavin's got one, he uses it every day. I got Gavin a gym at our house, for his birthday. He's a work-out freak, he's always in there, always training. I can't do it. There are always excuses. I’ll sit there and thinh 'Gym/TV? TV/Gym?' And I'll always go for the TV.

Who spends more time in front of the mirror out of the two of you?
Do you know what, he's really not vain. He's beautiful, and it takes him literally five minutes to look like he does. He has a wash, he occasionally has a shave if he's playing a game or something. He likes to look good for a game, and he shaves his legs and stuff, but he's really not vain. He's not in a mirror preening himself or anything. And I'm not particularly vain either. We're both kind of easy-going. Him more so than me. He's so relaxed he's almost horizontal.

Is it true that you first won a talent show aged three at a holiday camp, singing Ghostbusters?
It's absolutely true. I had dinner with all my family last week and we were talking about this. My aunty is a professional singer, so she'd gone and entered the adult competition the night before and she'd won it. And I beat some kid on the guitar by singing Ghostbusters. That and Ride on Time were my first two songs. Apparently I used to sing at any family party, any opportunity.

A last word about the show?
Even when the show starts, even though you want it to be slick and professional, it's still going to be a big learning curve for me. The last show of the series will probably be ten times better than the first show of the series. We're going to try and make a high-energy show that hasn't got one minute where you want to turn over. Hopefully it'll be really quick and really funny.

The Charlotte Church Show starts on Channel 4 at 10pm on Friday 1st September.

By Benjie Goodhart

Series Two Interview

Series Two Interview