Barnyard
**

Users of the IMDB website appear divided over whether it matters that Otis (Kevin James), the male bovine hero of Nickelodeon’s new animal-ated movie, has udders. The fact that it does matter probably tells you all you need to know about what else there is in this farm-based Lion King rehash to keep your mind occupied and entertained.

In an effort to protect the animals inside the farm’s perimeter fence during coyote season, Ben (Sam Elliott) – Otis’s adoptive father – keeps a lonesome vigil of the strong-jawed, guitar-playing variety (I know, I know…don’t ask me). Meanwhile, Otis is the centre of attention each night as the farmer sleeps and the barn becomes party central. Not for him the life of a sturdy, righteous but social-spirited cow. See where this is going yet? Yep, when disaster strikes, Otis is forced into some harsh lessons about leadership and responsibility.

The usual mixture of child-friendly animation unfurls, with the de rigueur smattering of references for the adults in the audience, but there are two main problems. The first of these is that there are just too few laughs. The near-discovery of the secret lives of the animals by the farmer is a clever set piece, and the ‘bling’ rat who wows the crowd in the barn/club causes a few gentle chuckles, but the rest feels wearily predictable. The second is in the animation itself. The contracting of the production to the Omation Studios enables, according to Nickelodeon, the showcasing of ‘cutting edge’ CGI technology. Cutting edge it may be, but the animation and characterisation simply do not have sufficient warmth to carry the emotional pull of a Simba and Mufasa, or many of Pixar’s finest creations.

In short, if you’re not accompanying children then steer clear. You’ll only end up theorising about the udders.

by Paul Adnitt