When
a nasty car stunt goes horribly wrong, The Devil (Howard Marks) forces
the Dirty Sanchez lads to travel the globe punishing themselves through
the seven deadly sins.
magazine spoke to Dainton about
the suffering that ensued in Dirty Sanchez: The Movie
How
did you get from being a skateboarder, to doing Dirty Sanchez?
Well it all sort of stems from like, I dunno, a lot of skateboarders
seem to have like the same sense of humour as we do. You know like Jackass,
a lot of them are skaters, it’s just what we do, so in our videos
we put a lot of the fucking around in as well, then they get a lot more
entertaining.
So
what is it about the skateboarding mentality then, what is that?
I dunno, I really don’t know what it is, but it just seems like,
there’s a lot of skaters out there with like a slightly different
twist on their humour and certainly with us lot, well I don’t
know if it’s different but it certainly makes me fucking laugh.
I
suppose to get good at skateboarding, you’ve got to get used to
hurting yourself from time to time.
Yeah I suppose so, as a skateboarder you learn to laugh at yourself
and take the piss out of yourself and not take life too serious. I think
that’s a pretty fucking valuable lesson we’ve all learned
in our life. We’re just human beings at the end of the day, and
what we do to each other is just a bit of a laugh, and it’s gone
a long way.
As
a skateboarder, how do you relate to this newest urban sport, Parkour,
this free-running thing?
How do I relate to it? I just saw some kids in town doing it just now.
It’s all down to the individual innit you know, if that’s
what they’re into then that’s what they’re into. It’s
not my type of thing. I wouldn’t mind doing that Jump London shit
though.
Yeah
that looks cool doesn’t it?
Yeah, now that’s fucking rad. Fucking amazing like, a lot of respect
for that.
So
leaping about and running around on tall buildings, and jumping from
great heights, that would do it for you then?
Yeah fuck man! I mean, that’s gonna fucking wake you up man, and
it’s gonna fucking scare the fuck out of you man, you’re
not gonna want to fall there, cos you know you’re gonna be dead.
Did
you see the follow up they did to that, Jump Britain, where they were
jumping across a gap in the roof of the Millenium Stadium, and crazy
shit like that?
I never got to see it, but I heard one of the producers who worked on
it, she said that the best one of all of them was standing there for
ages looking at this dirty fucking gap, and in the end he did it. Then
this little kid who was with them, younger guy or whatever, just fucking
did it anyway without telling anybody, and he just nearly fucking caused
everyone to have a fucking heart attack. I think he just wanted to show
them that he had the balls.
Something like that, they must have pretty mean
insurance, have you guys got insurance when you go shooting?
Erm… oh fuck, we have got some kind of insurance, but it ain’t
worth shit.
I
guess it’s gonna cost a fair old bit to get you guys covered?
Oh fuck, I haven’t got a clue but I know that the only way they
can get us insured to do the series is like, to get a health and safety
guy there to supervise us all the time. Which is nothing, ‘cos
we just tell him he’s got to go do something, send him somewhere
else and then we just get on with the show.
So
you just keep him busy elsewhere?
Yeah, we had this one guy, when we did the second series, and he was
just screaming at us, he was shitting himself, he just wouldn’t
have none of it, so we sacked him, got someone else and then bullshitted
that guy.
You’ve
been hurt in lots of ways... Can you talk us through the basic spectrum
of pain? And what your favourites would be and things like that?
Let’s be fair right, I’m a human being right, and I fucking
hate pain, I’m not a fucking psychopath! There’s all different
sorts of shit, you know like with what we do, we know what’s coming.
So in one way there’s the anticipation of the stunt yeah? Knowing
that you know something’s gonna fucking happen and it’s
gonna fucking hurt. But then sometimes when it happens, it’s not
as bad as you thought, so the anticipation is sometimes worse than the
actual injury or stunt that you did. Then there’s the shock pain,
when you don’t know something’s gonna happen, like when
you get battered over the head with something, that’s not nice.
‘Cos you don’t know where you are when you’ve been
hit, and you don’t know what’s hit you. And then there’s
like pain that goes on forever, like the stinging nettles, and it just
goes on and on… that’s the fucking bad one, shit like that
man.
Hang on, are you telling me that out of all the
things you’ve done, you really hated stinging nettles the most?
It’s weird like, well it was one of the worst… I’ll
tell you the worst pain I’ve gone through, seriously, the worst
pain, right there, right then… was sewing my own mouth shut.
You
did what!?!
Basically, ‘cos the film, we based it on the seven deadly sins,
so gluttony, when we went to Mexico we did gluttony.
How
was that done? With just a regular needle and thread?
I just got a needle and thread, yeah. Because it was gluttony related,
the day before we went into the desert to do anti-gluttony, you know
reverse gluttony, where we got starved. We had a massive big feast,
and at the end of this feast a stunt would come up, and you had to put
your hand in this bowl and a stunt would come up, and mine was sewing
my mouth shut. And seriously, I almost passed out. Sewing through your
fucking lips, lips are really fucking rubbery, and it didn’t wanna
go through, and it was just fucking… Put it this way, they couldn’t
show it in it’s true form, the footage, because it was too dark.
They had to fuck around with it and lighten it up a bit because it was
just too fucked up.
That’s
really nasty.
Yeah that kind of pain was just, I dunno... and you’re doing it
to yourself as well and it’s a slow agonising pain. But there’s
all kinds of fucking pain man, there’s all kinds, like rope burns,
that burns you at the time, but then it stays with you, it all depends
man.
Yeah,
you can set yourself on fire, but there’s nothing quite like a
paper-cut at the end of the day.
Exactly, that’s shit, like little niggly things like that. But
then the movie isn’t all pain based, it’s humiliation, being
mentally scarred. You know like we went to Thailand, and we did lust.
Yeah, didn’t you snog a ladyboy?
Not intentionally no. There was supposed to be one woman in a bunch
of four, but there was no women, they were just all men. So I went for
the one… they were all fucking hanging anyway. Obviously they
were fucking dudes, but I don’t wanna even… oh fuck man,
that’s savage!
I
guess that was Pritchard who set you up with that... What’s going
on with the history between you two? ‘Cos you’ve got some
rivalry going on or what?
Fuck man, it’s just something we’ve always had going. We’ve
known each other the longest out of the whole team, being the founding
members of Dirty Sanchez, and it’s just something where I’ve
always fucked him over, and he always tries to get me back, and he’s
so fucking retarded sometimes that it just sometimes doesn’t come
off. So it keeps you on your toes, but it does help the relationship
you know. It’s like fucking survival of the fittest.
So does it come to the point now where you just
can’t relax, because you’re always having to watch your
back?
Constantly, like no shit, constantly. I can just like make a fucking
noise and he’ll just jump out of his skin. Seriously, if I’m
like looking at him, and I kinda like frown, he’ll just be like;
“what is it, what, what is it? What the fuck have you done?”
He will like seriously trip out, it’s fucking brilliant! Just
a little fucking look now across the room can send him into massive
anxieties.
In
your old age you guys are gonna be pretty jittery and psychotic aren’t
you?
I’m fucked already. Seriously, I feel like I’ve got post-traumatic
stress disorder, I feel like I’ve been to the fucking Gulf War
after that film.
