Students do the strangest things

Reporting the various happenings in studentland, we have encountered some weird, wonderful and down-right stupid stories. Here are our highlights from the world of student strangeness and stupidity in recent years.

Money for what?
It is common knowledge that increasing numbers of students are taking up part-time work to help pay their way through university life.
Last year, Derek Farmer, a student at the University of Wyoming in the US launched a novel business descriptively named Laramie Poopatrol to bring in the dough (US student out on ‘Poopatrol’, September 2005). The Poopatrol aimed to clean up after animals when owners are too busy or tired to do it themselves, charging on a sliding scale based on the size of the dog and the garden.
Mr Farmer’s chosen livelihood brings a whole new meaning to the concept of having a ‘s**t job’.
Bill Bennett, studying in Coventry, sold a single cornflake, yes ‘a single cornflake’ as an experiment (Student sells single cornflake on the internet, February 2005).
Speaking to the BBC he said, “There were no takers at first. But then someone offered 1p and it grew from there. After a couple of days I agreed to sell it for £1.20.”
He added that the sale had come just in time as eBay had asked him to withdraw the cornflake because he hadn’t put a ‘best before date’ on it.
“I had some interesting enquires about it,” he said. “Someone asked me if it would mate safely with a Sugar Puff and another asked if it would be sociable if it was dropped in a fish tank.”
Internet retail has drawn in thousands of students selling various things to make a quick and easy buck, but from our experience it is definitely safe to say that some are more adventurous than others. It’s hard to believe some of the things that have been on sale on eBay.
On two separate occasions we have highlighted students who have sold advertising space on their foreheads. First was American student Richard Young (Head space for sale, February 2005) who put up an auction on eBay to raise funds for a local family that lost their home to fire. Next were a group of students who were using their heads for a much less noble cause (Party goers use their heads, February 2006). Belgian student Kris Davies put the foreheads of him and his friends up for auction to raise funds for food and drink for his 20th birthday party.
The space was won by marketing firm Waregem which footed the £1750 bill for the party-goers who all had the firm’s logo brandished on their noggins throughout the shindig.
Two stories stand out for the sheer ingenuity in bringing products to the internet market place - we are not making these up.
Certainly not the first time Oxford students have used eBay in an imaginative fashion, in February, Brasenose College was put up for auction by a student. Bids reached in excess of £10 million before university proctors intervened, forcing eBay to close the auction.
Items in the sale included the college’s infamous unicorn penis, the Boat Club and all of the College’s students, described by the seller as being ‘generally in quite a worn condition’.
David Green, the student who put the college up for sale, was fined £50 for the prank and asked to apologise to the Brasenose Provost.
One student moved into the realms of the surreal by auctioning his ‘last shred of dignity’ (Last shred of dignity sold on eBay, November 2005).
Kerry Norman, a third year psychologist in Oxford, concluded that he had ‘no use for it anymore’ and resolved to sell his dignity ‘while there was still some left to sell,’ after making, ‘a fool of myself again….in a particularly embarrassing episode.’
“People sell something on eBay because they believe it to be worthless, at least to themselves, and in the hope that some stranger will value the product more. It is exactly the same with my dignity,” he commented
The extent of his shame was advertised to potential buyers in an accompanying photograph, showing him stuffing a beer bottle into his mouth. Bidding started at 50 pence, though this rose to a final sale price of £67.
The winning bidder received a certificate of ownership for Mr Norman’s ‘last shred of dignity’, described by the student as, ‘a totally unique one-off item.’
However, a sub-clause added by Mr Norman notes that, ‘This certificate gives you no legal rights over any of my future actions.’
A student gambler took a chance on a very unlikely wager to put himself in the money.
Brett Allen, bet £25 on himself persuading pop princess Kylie Minogue to go on a date with him in a period of twelve months (A dream date worth thousands, February 2004). Bookies placed the generous odds of 100/1 on the bet.
“I have a bit of a reputation with some people at my university for being a ladies man, hence the idea for the bet,” said Brett.
At the time of us going to press he had yet to form a detailed plan for meeting the Australian beauty and it is safe to say he never achieved his goal.
“I’m not a nutter and I will not follow her around everywhere, but if the chance comes up to meet her then I will take it. But I won’t use chat up lines as girls don’t go for them,” he added.

If you wanna be a record breaker…
A bit of imagination’s what you need! Last year four thousand students from a Belgian university broke the world record for the largest pillow fight (Belgian students break pillow fight record, May 2005).
Four thousand free pillows were handed out at Leuven University and the fight lasted for about five minutes, breaking the record by a thousand fighters and raising money for charity.
For Canadian Tyler Ing length really does matter! Mr Ing made it into the Guinness Book of Records for having the world’s longest nipple hair (World’s longest nipple hair, October 2005). A hair on the University of Western Ontario student’s right nipple measured in at 8.89 centimetres.
He decided to apply for the record after constant teasing from his friends and encouragement from his girlfriend.
“After you’ve been made fun of enough in the hockey change room, you might as well put it in the Guinness,” he admitted.

Hall of pain
Accidents happen, but in our experience student’s have an incredible knack for hurting themselves in ridiculous ways.
A mentalist was left with serious burns after bungee jumping from the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol - while on fire (Bungee stunt goes wrong, February 2004).
On lookers were shocked as James Marples climbed over a safety fence and attached a bungee rope to railings before throwing himself off the edge. While falling he set himself alight.
Marples had intended to cut himself loose and drop into the water below, but the blade of his knife broke and he was burning for 20 seconds before he managed to free himself. Following the stunt he faced police charges for causing alarm and distress to witnesses.
In May last year the Oxford tradition of students throwing themselves off Magdalen Bridge on May Day took a turn for the worse because of incredibly low water levels (Oxford ‘mayday’ lemmings, May 2005).
Despite warnings from college staff, the police and other students, over 100 people took the dangerous plunge into pain. Also ignoring warning signage at the bridge and two-metre high barriers they jumped 25-metres into knee-high water covering a river-bed of broken bottles, bicycles and shopping trolleys.
Injuries sustained included spinal injuries, a compound leg fracture with severed artery, broken ribs, a broken ankle, various deep cuts, bruises and sprains.
The scene at the riverside resembled a dark comedy sketch. Students dragging their injured friends from the water, with more students jumping on top, a crowd of 12,000 watching and all the time a choir singing hymns from the college tower.
One student impaled his leg on the railings and was hospitalised without even jumping and another landed successfully only to have his ribs broken and spine injured by the following jumper. At least 10 students were taken to hospital and another 30 were treated at the riverside.
Another Oxford student hospitalised himself ‘jumping’ in a drunken Parkour stunt (Student injured in ‘free-running’ stunt, November 2005).
Jonathan Letham was injured after he attempted to leap from a wall on to a college building as part of a free-running stunt. Returning from a night-club, Letham scaled a wall and attempted his jump.
However, he misjudged the gap, hit the side of the building and fell 8ft to the ground suffering from several broken bones, facial injuries and severe shock.
A continental student found that it isn’t always the best idea to handle sharp implements while under the influence. The German known only as Andreas W, cut off his own penis and tongue after drinking a tea made with the hallucinogenic Angels’ Trumpet plant in October 2003.
An emergency doctor who arrived at the scene claimed Andreas had cut off his penis and tongue with garden shears and it was impossible to reattach the organs.
Angels’ Trumpets, known for their fragrant and trumpet shaped flowers, have become increasingly popular in Germany as an alternative drug.
A bizarre accident was fatal for the victim who fell 11 storeys to his death (Spitting contest death, March 2004). Ameer Jinah fell to his death during a spitting contest on his 20th birthday.
Detectives in Ottawa, Canada said that he had been drinking with friends when, in an attempt to spit the furthest off a balcony, after a running start he tumbled over the railings.
Omar Omerzai, who was on the balcony with Jinah and another friend, said, “I figure he lost his balance.”
An unnamed Cambridge undergraduate dialled 999 because she needed some painkillers (Ouch, it hurts, call an ambulance, November 2004).
Paramedics arrived to discover that the caller, who was suffering from period pains, had made the emergency call because she had run out of her usual pain relief tablets and needed some more.
An ambulance service spokesman said he was shocked that someone with such intelligence could exercise such little common sense.

Activism can be sexy!
Stereotypically students have a lot of sex, but at times this love of carnal intimacy has been put to good use, to make a point.
Two German students made a porn film in a protest against under-funding (Students make porn film to ‘protest’ against fees, February 2004).
Mara Schneider played ‘Chantal’ in the film she made with her boyfriend Rene and described the home-made porno as a ‘passionate demonstration’ against education reforms. Money made from the sale of the film was used to pay the fees of those who couldn’t otherwise afford a university education.
Students from the University of California protested the use of sweatshop labour in producing their college clothing by losing their own garments (Naked sweatshop protest, March 2006).
They decided to protest naked after a previous clothed protest had gone largely unnoticed. “People know that we’re having a naked protest, and they know what it’s about, too,” said co-organiser Lexa Grayner.
No students were arrested at the peaceful, if a little naughty action.
The University of California campus is no stranger to nude activity. It became famous for the exploits of Andrew Martinez, who became known as ‘the Naked Guy’ when he attended classes in the nude in the mid-1990s before the institution expelled him. The city adopted a strict anti-nudity policy.
In 1992, Martinez organised a ‘Nude-In’ protest at the university. He said he was trying to make a point about free expression. He was in custody since January this year on charges of assault and battery with his deadly weapon!
He sadly died in his cell in May.

A law to themselves
Many people find themselves on the wrong side of the law, but some find themselves in trouble for totally unbelievable things.
A German student found himself facing legal charges for ‘stealing electricity’ worth less than a penny.
Jan Michael Ihl, plugged his laptop into a socket at an abandoned information stand at a train station to search for the address of a hostel he was staying in that night in the town of Kassel.
He had not got far out of the station when three police officers arrested him for ‘illegally extracting electricity’.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome may not be the most likely thing to get you a telling off, but college student Jesse Haufman (an IBS sufferer) was arrested and charged with blocking a toilet on the Canadian border (Student arrested for blocking toilet, September 2004).
He told officers that he didn’t intentionally block the toilet, he suffered from IBS and that he had used ‘at most’ a fifth of a roll of toilet paper.
“I’ve never been arrested before or anything like that, and I get arrested for taking a dump,” he said.
Huffman said that he tried to explain to officers that he didn’t purposefully clog the john and offered to try and fix the problem himself.
But he was told that ‘they had absolutely no plungers within 40 miles.’ After the incident he faced charges of criminal mischief and faced a possible six months in jail and a possible $1000 fine.
An Oxford graduate eventually had court proceedings dropped after he was arrested for calling a police horse ‘gay’ (Equine Homophobia?, February 2006).
Sam Brown who was an undergraduate at Oxford University at the time, was arrested following a drunken exchange with a pair of mounted policemen
Leaving a bar, Brown called out to the officers, “Mate, you know your horse is gay. I hope you don’t have a problem with that.”
He was warned by one officer not to repeat his comment, but he allegedly continued with the reassurance, “No, don’t worry. Your horse is fine, it’s his horse, his horse is gay.”
Considering the comments to be in breach of the Public Order Act, the officers heavy-handedly called for back-up from two squad cars and six policemen to take Brown into custody.
The story brought Brown considerable attention, having been spread rapidly over the internet by ‘bloggers.’
The case also consequently brought secondary fame to a first-year namesake, who many automatically assumed to be Oxford’s famous bearer of the ‘equine gaydar.’

Editorial: September 2006