Naturally
all were concerned…
“Prince Harry’s tour of
duty in Iraq will take him to a hell zone branded ‘Mad Max land’”,
The Sun revealed. “Its
lawless tribesmen are said to operate like the ultra-violent gangs
of Mel Gibson’s cult 1979 movie.” One
of their “senior military”
sources was sure to push that point home adding: “It’s
well and truly Mad Max land. It’s like the land the world forgot
up there.” Another of their “senior
sources” said “It
is a security nightmare. Harry will be a magnet for suicide bombers.
It puts his men in as much risk as him. But we think we’ve found
a way that is safe enough and fair.”
But there’s more to learn about this treacherous area…
“There’s a popular story
about two of its tribes duelling over the ownership of a cow. They
went home to get their heavy machine guns and anti-aircraft weapons
and by the end of the day, ten were dead and 40 wounded. It sums the
place up.”
The New York Post, Fox News and
other media running with Associated Press copy were
sure that Harry would make the area more dangerous - “The
narrowing of the British presence to the two locations in southern
Iraq will mean any insurgent groups looking to target Troop Commander
Wales - as he is known to his comrades - will not have to look far
to find him. That has led to some concern that his presence could
bring extra risk to soldiers.”
The Daily Mail had “concerns
that insurgents will flock to southern Iraq in the hope of capturing
him as a ‘trophy.’” This is possibly
due to their reported comments from the MOD that “take
into account the possibility that Harry’s presence in Iraq would
increase the risk to his fellow soldiers, who have wryly nicknamed
him ‘bullet magnet.’”
The Telegraph knew that “he
would be a fat prize for terrorists” but were
slightly more analytical, discussing that “insurgents
are unlikely to have enough information on which patrols to target
so instead may attack as many as they can in the hope of reaching
Harry. Some may even concentrate their efforts away from Baghdad towards
the south in a bid to claim what would be a huge propaganda prize.”
But they were put at ease because “Reports
earlier this week suggested that the Metropolitan Police protection
officer assigned to watch over Harry has already flown to Iraq to
discuss his security.”
Although
some saw it coming…
Guardian
Unlimited recognised that the announcement had ended “feverish
tabloid speculation about the future of the best-recognized tank commander
in Britain,” while another Associated
Press writer saw that the speculation had been “swirling
for some time.”
And
others weren’t bothered…
The
Daily Record’s Joan Burnie wasn’t bothered
- “Do I care that Prince Harry
will soon be in Iraq doing what any other officer does? Not a lot.
I just hope they’ve sufficient nightclubs up and running for
HRH.”
The
Fog of War
The
newspapers like to maintain an air of authoritative wisdom on many
occasions, none more so than when discussing military activities and
manoeuvres - The Sun said: “[we]
know exactly what task lies ahead for Harry and his men. But the MoD
has asked us not to report it for fear it will help the enemy.”
Quite right too... The Guardian agreed - “To
protect the prince’s safety, Clarence House appealed to the
media not to speculate about where he would serve.”
The Times also knew exactly what would happen: “No
details have been given about the Prince’s responsibilities,
but he is likely to serve with his squadron wherever it is deployed.”
Which makes sense!
It was clear that Harry and his fellows had been well prepared for
what lay ahead, as The Sun pointed out. “Harry,
a 2nd lieutenant, completed a course last month which prepares soldiers
for Iraq. The stint taught the prince cultural awareness, patrol techniques,
mines know-how, crowd control and very basic Arabic.”
The Guardian reported that Iraqis were unimpressed
- “These things [are] just to
beautify the picture ... The British government wants also to boost
the [morale] of their troops,”
said Sabah Ali, a 35-year-old worker at the Iraqi Oil Ministry.”
Bold
and Brave
Everybody
knew Harry was “over the moon”.
The Daily Mail told us “Palace
sources said the Queen had given her ‘whole-hearted support’
to her grandson’s deployment.”
The
Sun, however, were concerned about pay: “He
will also be risking his life for less than the minimum wage. Even
after his £2,240 tax-free bonus and military separation allowance
of £6.02 a day are taken into account, he will earn just £9,918
while away. That works out at a mere £54.49-per-day - or £2.27
an hour.” An intriguingly mindless calculation...
The Sun’s hacks clearly have ambitions of being
paid whilst they sleep!
Meanwhile the Yanks were yearning for a bit of good old British gusto
with the New York Post being proud and traditional
in their announcement: “Harry
the Lionheart off to war by June,” while the
Wall Street Journal had Shakespearean thoughts of battle - “Cry
God for Harry!”
The Daily Mail spared a thought for his lonely lover
back home - “His tour of duty
is expected to test the strength of his relationship with girlfriend
Chelsy Davy.” But away in the desert how will
the party-going prince cope they wondered - “Members
of Harry’s regiment, the Household Cavalry, are permitted a
maximum of two drinks a night. The rule will represent a major test
for a young man who is known to have consumed a formidable variety
of alcohol on at least one of his marathon drinking sessions.”
The Daily Record also had something to say about
Harry’s passion for the booze, “Tony
Blair sent 600 troops home from Iraq, but ordered Prince Harry to
go there to serve. The bar bill is expected to stay the same.”
Meanwhile…
Many
papers were only too pleased to pass on the details of Chris Eubank’s
own little involvement in the story when he drove his truck up and
down Whitehall and earned himself a short stay at Charing Cross Police
Station. On the back of his gas guzzler read the words: “BLAIR:
Don’t send our young prince to your catastrophic illegal war
to make it look plausible.”
Metro reported the next morning: “He
left Charing Cross police station in central London late last night,
looking pristine in a grey overcoat, cream suit and silk tie and carrying
a designer suit case.”
by
The Juicer - February 2007
